“Pizza delivery!”

I stand in the doorway wearing the clothing of teenager, or at least what I think a teenager would wear.  Her glacier eyes greet me.  She stands before me with her hair up, makeup done, and a sultry black negligee draped over her skin. 

“I hope you didn’t forget the extra sausage,” she says.

I almost laugh.  To spice things up we play these little games like children.  If it wasn’t for the role playing, there would be no fun left in any of this.  What should I say next?

“I wasn’t sure if I should come in the back door or not.  I hope this is fine.”

She slides around me and slams the door.  Her heels click on the hard wood floors as she leads me over to the couch.  She sits, licks her lips, and spreads her legs.

“Why don’t we make things exciting, and you come over here and give me the tip.”

That’s my cue.  I drop the prop pizza on the floor.  It’s been so long since we’ve had sex.  I miss her. 

My clothes fall as I stand before her.  Light illuminates her face, and dances down her supple body.  I undress her with my eyes, and then with my fingers.  It upsets me to go through such an act for sex.  I’m disgusted with myself.  Whose idea was this anyway?  How did it come to this?  I can remember just being young and sharing a bed.  I can remember when it was enough to just be on top of one another.  Now our shared love is just an exploited monster of carnality.

I wrap myself around her as I join her on the couch.  She moans and her eyes roll.  It’s just a show.  Beads of perspiration begin to roll down my face and splash on her creamy body.  Do you feel safe in my arms, I want to say, but instead just grunt.

“You like that?”

She moans in response.

Our flesh shines under the natural light of the open room.  The slapping and smacking of our skin echoes down the hollow hallways.  Under my force the couch squeaks and the cushions shift in violence.  She looks at me, and I begin to realize why we must put on such a show.  Her dark roots show under her blonde hair.  The makeup that’s on her face is caked on thickly to hide the many imperfections.  When she opens her mouth I can see the yellow tinge of her teeth from years of smoking.  When I look into her eyes I can only see the years of self loathing and self-esteem issues. 

I can’t do this. 

I try to get that thought out of my head, but it’s stuck.  I can only focus on her disgusting flaws, and grow disgusted of myself for once loving her. 

I can’t do this.

Without my control my body stops and I peel myself off of her.  As I’m standing up she quickly drops to her knees out of expectance.  I stand before her sweaty and limp, pushing her head away from me as I fight for my own dignity.

“CUT!”

I gather my clothes from the pile on the floor.

“Hey Johnny, if you don’t finish the scene you’re not getting paid.”

I turn around as I dress and look at her as Makeup is touching up her face, and wiping my sweat off of her body.  I walk towards the door.

“Jesus Christ!  Get Greg in there for the money shot.  We’ve still got a movie to make.”